JuJuBe IM: dude, do you have any idea if Jim is OK right now??
Psikokrash: i couldnt tell you. i imagine that at this hour, he'd be asleep
JuJuBe IM: please 'take care' ofm him Adri!!!
JuJuBe IM: I'm done & over.
Psikokrash: what do you mean?
JuJuBe IM: (with the forums)
JuJuBe IM: i MEAN...
JuJuBe IM: oops caps
JuJuBe IM: I sent him 2 emails this morning
Psikokrash: i havent been in ages. it's gone downhill
JuJuBe IM: very very early this morning
JuJuBe IM: I swear to you ON THE BIBLE the emails are nothing but pure truth too
JuJuBe IM: one sec
JuJuBe IM: they are short
JuJuBe IM: first -->
JuJuBe IM: From: Sterling36
To: walrus@zipperfish.com
Sent: Saturday, March 05, 2005 4:14 AM
Subject: Good News- For You! ~ I Got Myself A Freaking Boyfriend!
The 22 navy dude... I *do* so fucking rule... lol (He is CUTE- as hell, and he LOVES me, lolol!!! =D
I am soooooo: fucking happy- now, Jim!!! =) =) =)
JuJuBe IM: (*end*)
JuJuBe IM: 2nd email -->
JuJuBe IM: From: Sterling36
To: walrus@zipperfish.com
Sent: Saturday, March 05, 2005 4:27 AM
Subject: If for any reason...
If for any reason...
You want to intervene... (which I am fairly positive, that: you do NOT)- then... you have roughly: 12 hours.
He is coming back from a 'quad off-roading' trip to the desert, which he is leaving for... right now...
And: at about that time, it is where he and I- might, or might-not --> consumate our love.
~Last Call... lol =Þ
PS: This is NOT 'promiscuity'- btw. He and I just very much: hit it off VERY QUICKLY... (in an answer to my prayers), and he broke-up with his fiance, to be with- MOI! ;-)
JuJuBe IM: (*end*)
JuJuBe IM: then....
JuJuBe IM: out of NOWHERE Adri...
JuJuBe IM: he fucking UN-banned me
JuJuBe IM: did you happen to see his topic (it's REMOVED from the forums NOW!??) about how he "wanted someone to talk to"..?
JuJuBe IM: and then I think DastardlyDrave... asked:
Psikokrash: no, i didnt. how long ago did he post that?
JuJuBe IM: Are you drunk, Jim?
JuJuBe IM: ummm
JuJuBe IM: holdr one sec
JuJuBe IM: I did NOT 'save it'
Psikokrash: i dont imagine you did
Psikokrash: but i can understand why it
Psikokrash: is relevant
JuJuBe IM: however it might be in one of my 2 million open windows, lol ;-)
JuJuBe IM: I can too!!!!
JuJuBe IM: lol
JuJuBe IM: oh wait
JuJuBe IM: I haven't the exact time
JuJuBe IM: but it was approx 3 AM-is
JuJuBe IM: maybe 2
JuJuBe IM: maybe 4
Psikokrash: this morning
Psikokrash: ?
JuJuBe IM: I have a hard time remembering TIMES lately
JuJuBe IM: yes
JuJuBe IM: this morning
JuJuBe IM: Jim answered that question (about if he was drunk)
JuJuBe IM: with ONE WORD
JuJuBe IM: --> yep
JuJuBe IM: :-\
Psikokrash: that IS weird
JuJuBe IM: ask Phantom, DastardlyDrave or Benny...
JuJuBe IM: they all posted in that topic
JuJuBe IM: Sonia saw it too
JuJuBe IM: then *poof*
Psikokrash: do you mind if i tell lauren? she might know something.
JuJuBe IM: it was inexplicably GONE
JuJuBe IM: yes... sure
JuJuBe IM: I am OVER dude
JuJuBe IM: my new bf... will NOT allow me to post in ZF any longer
JuJuBe IM: I asked him to stop me
JuJuBe IM: ;-)
Psikokrash: congrats on the bf! i have a navy guy myself
JuJuBe IM: I am moving in with him
JuJuBe IM: do you?? :-)
Psikokrash: well, he's ex-navy
Psikokrash: that's great!
JuJuBe IM: congrats to you as well!!!
Psikokrash: how long ago did you meet him?
JuJuBe IM: he has post gulf war syndrome
Psikokrash: what's that?
JuJuBe IM: the symptoms are VERY closely related to fibromyalgia (bizarre... eh??)
JuJuBe IM: ask --> Lauren
JuJuBe IM: she can explain it better, I bet! ;-)
JuJuBe IM: (she's smart)
JuJuBe IM: lol
JuJuBe IM: :-)
JuJuBe IM: oh met him not long ago
JuJuBe IM: but in a very very weird way
JuJuBe IM: too weird to even go into details about
JuJuBe IM: it was a miraculous fate thing...
JuJuBe IM: I swear it
JuJuBe IM: had to do with a missing Rhottwheiler that I rescued, that HE took it in
JuJuBe IM: he lives in my apt complex
Psikokrash: congrats. i think y'all could do well with each other if it's fate.
JuJuBe IM: I do too!!!
JuJuBe IM: I was very much obsessed w/ Jim
JuJuBe IM: that would be moronic to ever even ATTEMPT to deny any of that all!!!!
JuJuBe IM: :-(
JuJuBe IM: this was an answer to my prayers
Psikokrash: it was really sort of public
JuJuBe IM: lol.... yeppers!! ;-)
JuJuBe IM: oh wait
JuJuBe IM: let me show you just one email of Jim's OK??
JuJuBe IM: from Jan
Psikokrash: okee
JuJuBe IM: Thanks.
BTW... what happened on Friday night will not happen again. I am cutting down the drinking to almost nothing in the new year. I am still paying for my mistakes of Friday today. I have not been myself, I feel depressed and lonely and sad. I have to go on this trip, which I don't want to go on.
My actions have been stupid, and destructive. As part of a New Years resolution, I am determined to look deep within myself, and find out why I am so unhappy that I need to do destructive things. Therapy may also be an option.
Thanks again for being there for me.
I am just so !!!!ugh!!!! about myself right now. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I'm better today, or a least in the last couple hours. My body is obviously giving me a huge signal that I must recognize. But I AM super busy tonight, so I will talk to you after the trip.
The Walrus
http://www.zipperfish.com
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JuJuBe IM: On Jan 3, 2005, at 9:55 PM, Shirley wrote:
Just to let you know, so you can keep it in the back of your mind as just an option available to you:
If you would *ever* consider moving to San Diego, even temporarily... you have an open invitation to stay with me at my apartment.
I know that this is not intentions, at this time... but, should you decide to- for whatever reasons... these are the 'pros'
You could have the bedroom completely to yourself- it would be yours... it is PLENTY of room for your work area, has a window (not with a view- it's up high, but I have a fan that can fit in it, & you can smoke in the bedroom) there's a walk-in closet in the bedroom, plenty of dresser drawers (about 5 or 6 pieces- in nice wood, made in Germany- one with a large mirror)- and if the 'California King-sized' bed was removed (that sucker is *huge!*)... you could set up a work station in the bedroom, no problem! ;-)
JuJuBe IM:
I have a large screen TV in the entertainment system, in the living room... with a DVD and VCR, and 300+ stations. (You could put a TV in your bedroom, as well... but I really don't watch much TV at all- only forensics shows, and Nick At Night... in the wee hours of the morning. Oh and Ray took the stereo/CD player... but I could always buy another) I have two working computers, my new Dell one which is 6 months old- and another one, smaller screen but working perfectly. The cable connection here in San Diego by COX is one of the most lightening speed connections, like: ever!! =) (5 megs, if you want). I have a big computer desk with all kinds of doors and drawers and filing cabinet, pull- out keyboard, a laser-jet printer (only black & white, though) & everything. I have a really nice china hutch, a huge well-made heavy wood table with nice wooden chairs, an electric treadmill, sofa, lounge chair, rocking chair, a few lamps, a good carpet steam cleaner, a starbucks espresso/cappachino maker- a decent sized kithen with every utensil and cooking ware known to man, lol...
The place is completely furnished, which might be something to think about... in the way of leaving whichever (or all) of your furniture you own- to be stored back in Florida until you should find a place of your own someday (like if you wanted to move to LA)... or if for any reason you decided to go back to Florida someday. (I want you to know that I would never 'kick you out'- we can even put that in a written agreement, if you want). But yet you would be free to leave at anytime, as well... just for your own peace of mind! ;-)
I know precisely how important it is for you to immerse yourself in your work, and would promise to accomodate you in that manner... I rarely play my own music, so you could play your own music- whenever you wished to. You can be assured that I am an easy person to live with. I cook, I clean, I am one of the best 'thrifty shoppers' that I know of. (I typically save at least 40% off my food bills- because I have an eye for sales and coupons, etc.)
JuJuBe IM: I don't know when you get your driver's license back... but I have full coverage insurance on: my car, which is completely in my name, is paid-off already, and is in perfect running condition, with not too many miles of it. You would be able to use my car, whenever you wanted.
Paradise Hills is 10 minutes from downtown San Diego (when the traffic is light)- and it is 10 minutes to the International border to Mexico- I am in a fairly central part of town, although it is a little south in relation to the entire county of San Diego.
I am planning to get a job by summer, I am hoping... I have no idea doing what- but I've never had a problem obtaining and keeping jobs, in my life
Oh, and rent for you would be $350... And that is all I wanted to say! =) (Please don't reply to this email... just something to remember as being one of your options!)
JuJuBe IM: (****end***)
JuJuBe IM: ;-)
Psikokrash: how old is that one?
JuJuBe IM: I think it's dated isn't it?
JuJuBe IM: let me check again
JuJuBe IM: ----- Original Message -----
From: The Walrus
To: Shirley
Sent: Monday, January 03, 2005 7:05 PM
Subject: Re: Something to think about- (no need to answer)
JuJuBe IM: hey?
Psikokrash: hmm?
JuJuBe IM: if you ever want to you can call me
JuJuBe IM: I can call you if you want me to pay the charges
JuJuBe IM: I also will accept an anonymous collect call sweety ;-)
Psikokrash: my mom doesnt want people calling from out of town (i got in SO MUCH TROUBLE) but thanks for the offer
JuJuBe IM: I want Jim to sober up... lay off the damn crack and have a wonderful future
Psikokrash: i didnt know anything about any crack
JuJuBe IM: I always 8did* love him, very much... you know
JuJuBe IM: he does crack
JuJuBe IM: I swear it ON THE BIBLE
Psikokrash: i dont think you'd have been so patient if you didnt love him
JuJuBe IM: we are both flawed individuals, Adri
Psikokrash: damn...that's news to me, but it doesnt sound like something he'd flaunt, so i guess it would be
Psikokrash: how so?
JuJuBe IM: he usually does it ONLY after the ZFTR for some reason??
JuJuBe IM: my theory is this:
JuJuBe IM: he needs to drink to get his (what the hell is that word??)
JuJuBe IM: oh... confidence
JuJuBe IM: to do the show...
JuJuBe IM: and then it gets more & more progressed
JuJuBe IM: (the drunk factor)
JuJuBe IM: as the night proceeds
JuJuBe IM: and then he has admitted THIS portion:
JuJuBe IM: that when he gets really shit-faced... is the ONLY time that the idea of buying the crack, even enters his mind
JuJuBe IM: I asked how much he buys
JuJuBe IM: he says: $80
JuJuBe IM: I asked how much of that he does at first
JuJuBe IM: he said he does it ALL at once... :-(
JuJuBe IM: I am NOT lying... I swear to God in Heaven
JuJuBe IM: I don't know if *maybe* he is lying
JuJuBe IM: about the part about only doing it "once a week" however
JuJuBe IM: he scares the crap out of me
JuJuBe IM: I do not want him DEAD or in jail or to EVER lose ZF
JuJuBe IM: I am an ex-addict you know
JuJuBe IM: alcohol almost killed my brother, my sister, my father and MYSELF!!!!!!!!!
Psikokrash: damn
JuJuBe IM: I was a dialy drinker for at least adecade and that is NO LIE
JuJuBe IM: I became sober at 1111 Island Avenue in San Diego through the "Volunteers of America" 10-day rehab
JuJuBe IM: on Feb 16th 1999
JuJuBe IM: 6 years ago
JuJuBe IM: (Jim knows all of this very well)
JuJuBe IM: I have understanding & compassion for substance abusers
JuJuBe IM: ugh...
JuJuBe IM: I still love him, Adri
JuJuBe IM: godammit
JuJuBe IM: now I am crying... brb
shirley goes nuts